We are dying. I don’t know if you know this, but there is a heatwave here in Europe, and it’s been going on for the past few weeks. Of course, we don’t have air conditioning. And, being the world’s toilet, there is no air conditioning on any of the subways or trains (except for the long-haul ones). So basically, we’re dying from the heat.
That’s why, on Wednesday, we decided to be spontaneous and go to the beach this weekend. I bought our tickets Friday morning, and on Saturday morning, we were off. We went to Bournemouth (check it out
here). The train ride took about two hours from Waterloo station, and everything seemed to be running smoothly. That is, until about an hour into the trip. Then, this old grandma got on with her four teenaged grandchildren. There weren’t many seats left, as many people had the same idea as us to spend the hot day at the beach. So, the grandchildren sat across the aisle from us, and the grandparents sat a few rows ahead. This granny was the most fidgety old lady I’ve ever seen. Every 10 minutes, she would get out of her seat to check on the grandkids, which meant that every 10 minutes, Shane would get old-lady ass in his face. She finally got the picture when, after about the 15th time she did this, she tried to apologize and Shane just gave her the stinkeye. She didn’t get up again.
When we got to Bournemouth, we had to walk for about 10 minutes to get to the beach. No problem, except I was wearing these cheap flip flops (I didn’t want to ruin my nice sandals at the beach). And, as all you ladies know, cheap shoes equals death for your feet. In the 10 minutes it took to get to the beach, my feet took a beating. It got so bad, Shane had to buy me bandaids for the trip home. Either that, or he would have had to carry me.
It was almost noon by the time we got to the beach. And it wasn’t a moment too soon. It was mobbed with people. We had to walk around for a bit before we could find an area to park for the afternoon. We finally did, and got settled. Unfortunately, these stupid Eastern European jerks decided to settle in next to us. Instead of drinking water or juice or even pop to rehydrate themselves, they had a six-pack of tallboys (Fosters beer) each. As the day wore on, they got drunker, which meant that every time they wanted to go to the water, they kicked sand all over my towel. Assholes. These guys were almost as bad as the old couple who settled in right behind me. The woman, who must have been about 60, was sunbathing topless. Oh yeah, nothing sexy about leathery old boobs, let me tell you. Of course, some of the young ladies who were bathing topless weren’t much to look at either, but I digress. The old man kept speaking to his wife about inane things, like getting a cup of tea or whatever. Except every time he spoke to her, he called her “Mum”. I don’t know about you, but if Shane ever called me “Mom”, I think I’d punch him in the face. Talk about gross. But I digress.
We spent the next four hours or so in the sun, and we took turns going into the cold water. Of course, I had to go first, to “test” it because someone’s a wuss, but I won’t mention any names. Before we left, we had a nice dinner by the beach, and then headed to the train station. What a nightmare our nice day ended in. We got to the train station around 6:15pm; we didn’t get on a train until about an hour later. There were all these delays with the trains because of, get this, speed restrictions because of the heat. Apparently, when it gets too hot here, the rails warp. The rails warp! You would think that a country with so many trains would have built the tracks with more durable material other than tin foil. But no, welcome to England. Once the temperature hits 30C, they reduced the speed of all trains by 50 percent. So, we finally get on a train, and are stuck on this car with a family of 20 Spanish people. Of course, the train was packed, and they didn’t all find seats together. That didn’t stop them from yelling across the entire car to speak to each other. They also had about four young kids with them, and one of them fake-cried the entire two and a half hours to London. I had the worst headache by the time I got home. Bastards.
Anyway, we had a great time at the beach, despite the journey to and from Bournemouth. Today, we are both tired and a little sunburned. But it was worth it. Don’t forget to check out some pictures from our day out
here. Oh, and fyi, I am NOT topless in that picture, in case you were wondering. haha.
S.
