Right now, I am sitting in my room (it’s the one room in the flat that isn’t exposed to direct sunlight during the day, and is hence much cooler) and listening to my neighbours chatter mindlessly in the garden (that’s British for backyard) below. There sit out there, drinking beer and sunbathing every chance they get. This wouldn’t be annoying if one particular guy didn’t laugh
every 30 seconds. Now, there’s nothing wrong with laughing; I mean, hey, let them enjoy themselves, I don’t care. Except that this guy has the most irritating laugh I have ever heard in my life. If you’ve ever seen Uncle Buck, this will help: there’s a scene where Uncle Buck is trying to scare off his neice’s punk boyfriend when he catches them making out in front of the high school. He turns to Bug, the boyfriend, and laughingly says, “Hyuk, hyuk… Ever hear of a ritual killing? Hyuk hyuk. Gnaw her face in public like that again, and you’ll be one. Hyuk hyuk.” Now, if you remember Buck’s annoying laugh, you’ll be close to understanding what the jerkass next door sounds like. Every time I hear this guy, I want to chuck stuff out the bedroom window at him. Dingman and I have taking to imitating him in loud voices, with the windows open, whenever we hear him. The best part is, he can hear us. Then, everyone outside gets quiet, and they strain to hear us again. We wait and let the next couple of times he laughs go by. Then, we strike again. It’s great. Still, I would prefer to just throw some eggs at the jackass.
Other than that, things here are okay. We’ve been on the Atkins diet for the past week, and things are going pretty well. We’ve both lost some weight, and are feeling mighty pleased with ourselves. I am one-third of the way to meeting my goal, and that makes me happy. Two more weeks on the diet should do it! It’s not a bad diet; it sounds more restrictive than it actually is. We’ve basically just cut out all sugar, pasta and bread. Of course, being a wop, I can’t live like that for the rest of my life, but ho hum…
S.
