This week's blog is brought to you by Kenny (and you can write one too if you come visit!):
“I think you should write about how wonderful I am.”
That’s the directive I’ve just received from my host, Stephanie Bomba. Ha! Like I’m going to let some comment like that direct the story I’m about to write.
I’m under no pressure to be funny, in this first guest column in bombading’s respective blogs. I’m under no pressure to be nice, although the risk of being kicked out – to live in squalor on the mean streets of London – is low but we all know Stef and Shane can be unstable and snap at a moment. He is after all, Mr. Smashee, and Bomba’s from the hood. A dangerous pair.
Any ways, here’s my exclusive dish, the crazy gossip you guys – friends and family of the two – are looking for. Shane and Stef are @#$ ##$#@%#@ %#%^& #’#@ ##$%^ @#$. Ha! Now you know. Edit that!
This is really drifting, isn’t it? Okay, some vignettes.
1. Yes, I believe the city is scared about SARS. As I stepped out into the visitor receiving area in Heathrow, I thought, in retrospect, that it would be funny to put on a mask and scare the hell out of the crowd by running to Shane and Bomba, making sure I emphasize the words ‘Asian’ and ‘Toronto’ while coughing.
2. They call pounds quids, which I thought sounded more like squids. Well, I’ll think calamari can serve was a basis of a new monetary systems. Either that, or try to figure out why we insist on calling them toonies.
3. English people are quiet. On the tube. They also scowl a lot. So far, every ride on a packed Tube ride with Dingman goes like this. Dingman (gets my attention, nods over to some bloke who looks angry). Kenny: (I look over at the aforementioned bloke, then look back at Dingman and laugh). Dingman (finds another bloke, gets my attention again to make me laugh at the local). Kenny (wonders if laughing at the locals will result in a punchup, which Dingman says happens in bars when people decide, spontaneously, to beat each other up. I decide not to smile and pretend I don’t know Dingman). Dingman (looks at another bloke...)
4. Bomba is an amazing host – I’ve had homecooked meals every day… yummy banana bread, lasagna.
5. She didn’t make me say that (but see the quote at the top)
6. My bed is very comfortable. (outside is not)
7. Dingman, despite my story outlined in No. 3, which was more imagined than real, has not lost his edge. Thank God, them Brits have not defeated him!
Ha, this is fun. My final observation is this. The kids are busy, but are doing fine. They also make me realize all the more how much I’d missed them.
No, Bomba didn’t make me write that.
Kenny.
